top of page
  • Writer's pictureAnn Yebei

Gauging, Gearing Up, and Getting

Diary Entry #3: Ending October

 

As of September, I completed all of my academic requirements. So, I’ve officially graduated! The slower pace of last month has been healing, grounding, and an irreplaceable time to affirm my direction in life. It’s also been an engaging time of experimentation. And the results spoke for themselves. As I’ve shared in my last Diary Post, through introspection, I realized that self-care was central in sustaining my productivity, specifically:


“Motivation can be cultivated. I can make that paper something I’d like to do- or am comfortable typing- for an hour. If I feel starved however, I will be self-destructive with regards to my academic work. Knowing this, if I slip in my time management and scheduling, I usually burn out in about a week. In this, it can be seen how important being self-aware and intentional in living is to experience a productive and fulfilling life”.


So, I’ve been attentive to my hunger, my anger, and my inner rejections. All these moments have been insights to my inner needs, wants, and goals. By experimenting with my morning routines (a weak spot for me), rescheduling my yoga time to the late afternoon (when my energy levels drop), and staying consistent with my meal and sleep times (and being kind when I slip), I saw positive results in my mood in the mornings, my energy levels through the day, and my (lowered) resistance levels to sleeping.


A POC is writing on a table of dark wood. They are writing in an open journal with a pencil with two, smaller, notebooks stacked infront of them. A cup of coffee sits next to their notebook on top of a wooden saucer. The person has a silver ring on their forefinger and a dark denim jeans jacket. The photo does not show their face.
Summertime Reflections

On another note, while I have lived away from home in boarding school for a couple of my high school years and been to plenty of week-long camps over school breaks, nothing compares to the life-building I’m doing now in my late-20’s. Exploring my optimal life routine, what that looks like for me, and practicing consistency, has been a core theme for me since school ended- for the foreseeable future. Next January I will be living under my own roof for the first time. Truly, I feel like I’m building a life for myself for the very first time, and I’m going to give myself grace for that- even if no one else does. Knowing that social pressures help me support a certain life routine, I look forward to having my first job post-graduation!


Highlights: No Longer a Student


It took me nearly a month to get off this high.


But I’m done! And I’m letting myself have that stage! It’s huge when I really think about it and avoid being humble about it. My Master of Science in Education degree in Mental Health Counseling is my first higher education diploma. That’s huge. And I have every right to celebrate it. The last few months of school over the summer reminded me of my yet-unexplored capacities, and the support systems I had around me have been a blessing. I appreciate these revelations since they urge me to keep going even if it feels hard in the moment.


It will only get easier with time, it seems to say.


On a white table, there is a black fancy camera placed with the lens facing upright. A small, green, plant is set next to it in a brown pot with a smaller, purple, plant behind it in a white pot. A third white pot is in the photo as well, but at the edge of the image.
My Creative Life Resumes Now

Putting aside that this is a marketable-enough level of education to find a job, I’m tired. I’d like to enter a new chapter in my life past academia. In the future, should I find a specialty I’d like a Ph.D. for, I’ll return to the wonderful world of academia.


Until then, ciao.


New Chapter of Life


If I’m not looking for a new place to move into or a job, I’m creating and consuming content. Some web novels (and social media apps) try my self-control, but overall, overarching adjustments have been successful.

1. Every week, I publish online content that is useful to me (e.g., moments to remember) or to others (e.g., health information, events, reading recommendations).

2. Every day, I aim to connect with a friend to check in on how they’re doing and be a source of love and support.

3. Every day, I practice intentionality in the content I consume- Do I need it? Am I interested in it? - and question if it contributes to my growth. Cleaning out my subscriptions means I’m making the most of my time and data space.

4. Various journaling and meditations practices continue to invest in my spiritual and mental health journey. While I’m no longer a student by formal academic standards, in life, I’m forever learning. This is both a joy and an adventure I don’t mind partaking in for the years to come with myself!


7 leaves are hung on a light brown string. The leaves fade through autumn colors from one end to the other: (left to right) dark green, light green, yellow, orange-yellow, larger golden orange leaf, red, and deep red.
Transitions

Lowlights: Unemployed and Seeking


Seeking work is a chore! Having friends in the same place has been both motivating and validating. So, consistency and self-accountability has been my core focus rather than grumbling about the amount of work that goes into getting hired. If I find an ideal space, great! If not, I’ll still learn and grow. I’m aware that I’m a baby in the workforce- there’s only more learn if nothing else. And, God-willing, I have time on my side.


On that note, being unemployed means being royally broke. I’d love to resume therapy, but it’s not happening at the moment. For now, I’ll continue my self-care, personal development, and having those meaningful conversations when needed with those around me.


Conclusions


October has been the start of a transitional period and November is my playtime with National Novel Writing Month. I got COVID for the first time in October. I am continuing to schedule experiences to look forward to, and one of them is creating more meaningful content. I’m volunteering to contribute to the community and build memories with new and familiar faces.


And I’m nervous for the future.


Anxiety during times of transition is normal. So, I’m accompanying myself through the days while practicing support-seeking behavior, because no man is an island. And I have all the world by my side.

 

Comments


bottom of page